My Daughter’s Connections
We all carry connections in different ways. I realized recently that our daughter carries her loved ones with her tangibly, viscerally at hand, everywhere she goes. She wears jewelry given to her to commemorate significance, whether it’s birthdays or special times like a graduation, to celebrate connection.
She has lovely hands, doesn’t she? So graceful. It’s such a pleasure to spend time watching her talk using those hands.
Just a gorgeous display of connection. “This one” she says, pulling out a necklace to show a pretty jade circle, “this one is from my uncle for bravery, so I always wear it when I need to do something hard. I say to myself, my uncle knew I could do it.” “This one”, she continues, “this one is my Bubbie’s (grandmother’s) college ring. It’s so old! And this one is the garnet ring I got from my Grandma Shirley and Grandpa Artie for my graduation. You gave me my gold bracelet, Mom, from when you were my age.” She can share which beloved friend gave which charm to her on her jangly bracelet. It’s truly a testament to love.
It was so hard for her to have something break or wear out on a piece of jewelry. Sometimes she’d cry when Christian at the jewelry store needed to work on a piece overnight. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him to complete the repair. It was that she seemed to actually believe that her connection to that person would be severed. That type of loss was intolerable. She couldn’t be consoled for quite a while when that happened.
So we began talking to her about what she could keep in her heart. The people she loves are always in her heart, I would say over and over. They shine out her eyes, they are in every gesture of kindness, they are always with her. Even when they are no longer here. And slowly, slowly she began to accept that. “My heart to your heart”, she would say gently, pressing her fingers over my heart and hers.
I hear the echoes of that in the way my son speaks to his son. “Where is your heart?” he asks. My grandson taps his chest. “Everyone you love is always with you, right in your heart”, this amazingly nurturing dad says. There is that loving, kindness connection, that essential cord to love without restrictions, no exceptions, no boundaries. I breathe it in.
How do you carry your connections? Leave some explains in the comments to share! I love hearing from you all and look forward to the feedback!